My next set of posts will be based on the learnings from one of the best books that I have ever read: “The middle finger project” by Ash Ambirge.
I have never recommended any book in my life as much as this one. And I never set myself to re-read anything ever before. So this book holds a lot of “firsts”. That said, go and buy the book. And if you are unsure, than hang around to read my next few posts until you convince yourself that I am right!
The first lesson you will learn while reading this book, it’s a hard truth: “there isn’t anybody out there advocating for you. It’s up to you, to become your own”. It is a lonely thought, I know, but nevertheless legit and it’s something that you discover along the way, with time and maturity and heartaches and experience. This makes you self-reliant, meaning that all that happens to you, it’s your fault: the good bits and the bad ones too. ( In case you haven’t noticed, this part just reminds me so much about the phrase from Tony Robbins that got me started on this blog in the first place: “Whatever happens to you, it’s your fault”).
When you look out for yourself and your interests, without caring what everyone else thinks or says, you become self sufficient. And when that happens, you become stronger and braver, giving you the courage to make dangerous choices. Not because they are scary, but because they are big. You will become more selfish, you will want to be better, you will need better, and you will want to do something that you want to do, giving you the power to take space, to impose. And sometimes, this can be a lonely place. A place where you leave ordinary for extraordinary, without feeling like you have been left out.
It is hard to be out there and go against the current, bravely, strongly, alone, but as the author says “we all have creative impulses, because we are all individuals, and no two people are the same, which means that by the very definition of being human, we all think different things and have different ideas and look at life differently. At a basic level, we are all just really dying to be ourselves. even though we feign the opposite”. So just follow your primordial human instinct and be extraordinary! Find what matters to you and chase it without stopping for anyone. Don’t be ordinary, don’t be average. Find your purpose.
“Achievement without purpose is crisis”: no money or title in the world can give you that satisfaction that comes from doing something that really matters to you. And as you can see, I use the word “matters” on purpose here, to make a point. It is not only a pursuit for something that will make you happy…but it is chasing something that it’s meaningful, something that defines you and it allows you to express yourself. There is no right way to do anything, so why not make it your way? Why compromise on fitting a box, why thinking that professional equals impersonal, why thinking that someone can do it better than you? “Nobody knows what they’re doing. We’re all just making it up as we go”.
So try, as “trying is always the very best thing we can do in any moment. The people who really have something to worry about are the people who have stopped trying”. Those are the ones who “aren’t interested in greatness; they are interested in complacency. Hence, their opinion is of no use to you. Because the people who think your ideas are stupid, are usually just terrified they’re being left behind”.
It is fitting that just as I am writing this to you, a quote from Brene’ Brown just appeared in the Instagram feed of a friend of mine: “If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback”.
Don’t be afraid of being extraordinary.