How hard is it to know ourselves? Who we really are? What we really want? What we really feel? And being able to say it and stick by it?
I find that it is increasingly becoming more difficult to be our true self at all times. The amount of circumstances that seem to force us to bend who we really are, is a heavy weight on everyone’s shoulder.
Since we are little, we crave acceptance. We do anything in our power to be loved and fit in. Solitude is like a plague, and being an outcast is like a life-ending sentence. When we grow old enough to stop caring, we then have to face the power of social media and all its various influences…are we fit enough? are we pretty enough? are we smart enough? are we rich enough? are we successful enough?
Mental strength is of paramount importance to be able to have the drive to follow your own path, no matter what others think or say. It takes a lot of stamina to believe in what you believe and stick to it. It takes a lot of confidence to be who you are and not changing for anyone or anything.
To convince yourself, you should ask yourself these questions:
- who’s life is it?
- who’s path is it?
- who out there has the right to judge me?
- who out there is like me? ( exactly…NO ONE!)
- who will fight for what I want or need, if not me?
- who will know what I want, if not me?
At the end of the day, no one can take care of you, like yourself. Yes, you have family, good friends, a partner, but the ultimate truth is that, only you can do you. You are your biggest support and ally.
I also think it is very important to be straightforward, vocal and truthful about what we feel and think. No matter the consequences. If you do not do so, you compromise yourself for the good of others. But trust me, “others” will not have the same consideration towards you.
I am guilty of not always being able to stick to my own advice, as I know how hard it is sometimes to speak your mind without thinking how it can affect another person or a situation. For example, in the relationship with my mother, I often do not speak openly in fear of hurting her. Sometimes, in a sentimental relationship, I do not speak outright if I think the person in front of me can’t take it or will not understand me. But that doesn’t mean I feel good about it. In fact, I feel it compromises my own peace of mind.
If you remember one of my older post about not having regrets, you will also remember that one item on the list was: “live a life true to myself, not others expectations”.
Remember, you are unique. There is no one else in the world like you. Instead of thinking this is a minus, just stop to think how amazing this is. And can be.