You cannot control everything that happens to you. All you can control, is how to react to it. This will save you time, heartache, stress and free your mind and heart to focus on what matters the most to you, giving you the ability to accomplish more than you ever imagined.
“Deciding what is within your control or isn’t, largely depends upon your belief system”. If you are a person that believes to have control over your future, you will always think that if you try hard enough, everything will turn the way you want it to be. But there are several problems associated with trying to control everything:
- leads to increased anxiety
- wastes time and energy
- damages relationships
- you will judge others harshly
- you will blame yourself for everything
Being able to find a balance, by recognizing how external factors often play a role in life that is not in our hands, is the ultimate goal. You will be able to control your fears, stop worrying about things you cannot change, you will be able manage your reaction better, you will adjust the way you feel and think, and above all, you will learn acceptance.
Please bare in mind that acceptance doesn’t mean defeat. Defeat is giving up. Acceptance is analyzing the situation, thinking about solutions, realizing that the matter at hand is not something you can control, and accept that you should move on instead of wasting energy on something that will not bring any results in the end. “That doesn’t mean you can’t work towards influencing them by changing your behavior, but it does mean you can stop trying to force them to be different”.
I learned this over time. And after multiple tears. There was a particular incident whereby after a meeting, I was totally disheartened…I felt under scrutiny, I felt that I was being blamed for something I didn’t do, I felt that the decisions made were not what we agreed upon, and I felt my boss wasn’t on my side at all. I remember feeling awful after that meeting. I cried. Few days after, the outcome of the meeting was discussed again and my boss didn’t even remember that meeting, or what was discussed. That was a game changer for me. Something that meant so much to me and left me sad and defeated, had meant nothing to him. I gave too much importance to something and I was the only one who got affected. After that episode, I said to myself: NO MORE. And from then onwards, I started to be more selective, I started to control my reactions and feelings with only one goal in mind: ME, MYSELF and I. I vowed not to let things or situations or people control me and how I felt. I decided to take that power back into my court. And over time, I started to feel the changes.
Giving up control will make you stronger. You will have more time and energy to devote to things you love and can control. Here are some of the benefits:
- increased happiness
- better relationships
- less stress
- new opportunities
- more success
“Instead of wasting energy trying to prevent a storm, focus on how you can prepare for it”.