What others think, it’s not your problem

Now that you have decided to get off that sofa and do something, there is a few obstacles that you might encounter along the way. Because, of course, success doesn’t come easy, and the path to achievement is not a straight line.

One of these obstacles is people.

Since we are biologically built to live in communities, what people say about us matters. We seek acceptance and recognition since the moment we are born: first from mom and dad, than from our friends and peers, than from our partner and our colleagues, and so on. We are social animals.

So it is natural that when we are planning to take a step into action, we will automatically seek the support and opinion of others, beginning with those who matter to us. We almost need “permission”, a confirmation that we are doing the right thing, so we will feel better about ourselves to move forwards with what we have planned. We seek support and understanding, because we are scared to be left alone to ourselves.

But what happens if that support is not extended? What happens if the people around you are not as excited as you are about your new adventure? I suppose it depends on how big your adventure is and how it would eventually affect others in the process.

I am a big believer that no one can take care about you like you can. Your loved ones and friends will always love you, but the truth is that aside being social animals, we are also rather selfish and our tendency is to put ourselves first. So the question you have to ask yourself is “How important is this to me? How much am I willing to sacrifice my happiness for that of others?”. Compromise is an important skill to nurture, as long as you do not diminish yourself and your dreams in the process. Communicate clearly at every stage of your journey with those who matter to you, so they will feel your care and attention and that you are willing to make them part of the process of your growth. No one likes to be left out.

But there is a huge difference between compromise and sacrifice. Regrets is not something you want to live with. Imagine you decide to give up on your dreams? Who will be the one affected? You or the rest of the world? Of course it will only be YOU. The past cannot be changed, and if you miss that opportunity of putting yourself first, you will be living your life wishing you had until it’s too late to do something about it.

“Wishing it was” should not be your mantra. “I did it” sounds so much better. The first one sounds of regret and sadness, the second one sounds of accomplishment and happiness. One will drag you down, the other one will push you forward to what’s next. One lives in the past, the other one opens up the window to the opportunities of the future.

Be yourself and follow your dreams. The people that really love you, will be there to push you forward, or catch you when you fall, helping you to get back up again. Those who really love you, will never stop you, be in your way or push you down. These are the people that matter. What everyone else thinks, it’s not your problem.

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