This is how my favorite book starts. OUCH! It’s the 1st of the 25 principles that should take you from where you are from where you want to be.
I am the first to admit that I succumb every too often to the magic of “blaming” something or someone for whatever is not going the way I want. I am sure it is totally human and I am not alone out there doing the same. If we look at it objectively, it is true: things are not always 100% in our control…but isn’t there a saying that goes: “Only worry about the things you can control”? TOUCHE’.
According to the book, “there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you” “If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything you experience in your life” “You acknowledge that you create everything that happens to you…you are the cause of all of your experience” “It is only by acknowledging that you have created everything up until now that you can take charge of creating a future you want”.
I know…easier said that done. I thought the same.
I am not saying that we can magically produce an environment around us that it’s problem-free, that we can suddenly have a model-like body, 1$ million in the bank, the perfect family and children, the career of your dreams, a healthy mind and body balance and so on…Too much of what happens to us is related and affected by chance, by other people, by circumstances that are not in our control. And last but not least: no, we can’t undo what was done. Past is past and there it stays.
“The basic idea is that every outcome you experience in life is the result of how you have responded to an earlier event in your life”. So you either end up blaming the event for lack of results or, you can change your response to the event, until you get the outcome you want.
The principle here again is, control what is in your power to control. Control your thoughts, your behavior, your reaction. “Everything you think, say, and do needs to become intentional and aligned with your purpose, your values and your goals.”
So now that you have done your vision exercise, you have set goals, and determined a purpose, you have a clearer, written path that you can follow. This should help you to feel more focused, more passionate, more in charge of your life and decisions, and this will automatically transform your outlook on the events that might happen to you, and radically change your reaction to them for the better. You will start concentrating more on what is important to you, and less about what you are not invested in. You will start giving yourself the priority, because YOU is something that you can control.
It is a daily exercise: you actually need to stop, breathe, count until 10, make a decision, stick to it, and repeat…day in and day out. I am not sure it will ever become a habit, as I am personally still working on it, but what I can tell you is that I already feel better, and it’s worth the initial discomfort caused by the fact that we, so often, do not believe in ourselves enough to give us credit for the amazing things we can actually accomplish.
“If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got”
“The day you change your responses, is the day your life will begin to get better!”