The above quote summarizes EVERYTHING!
Remember how I mentioned in my “Career coaching” blog post that I had homework to do? Well, mission accomplished and here is the story…
When I met with my career coach, judging by how I ended up in tears, it was clear that something was bothering me…and yes, it was related to the professional aspect of my life.
I know some of you might think that crying about work is idiotic and totally unnecessary, but let me ask you something: isn’t your job supposed to be about passion and love? isn’t it supposed to move you and drive you and inspire you and fill you emotionally? Or are you just working for a paycheck?
So that is why I cried, because for me, my professional career is like a long-term intimate relationship, but instead of it being with a person, it’s with myself: the accomplishments, the growth, the contribution to something ( be it an idea, a company, a person ), the time invested in it, the passion…even while writing about it I feel like I am describing some of the characteristics that we usually look for in a sentimental partner.
So I have known that something “was off” for a while now. That is what made me look into career coaching, that is what got me reading books about “finding my element”, “the jump” and so on. I was looking for answers and in a way, I still am.
When I met with my career coach, I was clear about it: I wanted help to understand if I am doing what I am supposed to, or I should be looking somewhere else entirely. And you know what she said? If you are already starting to think like this, you will not be able to be open to neither possibilities. WOW. It is crazy how our thoughts can control our actions and behaviors, and what was I doing? I was going into it with my mind made up already without even realizing it. How can you find answers if you are already responding to your own questions instead of being open to the possibilities?
That meant, that we had to work backwards and really determine what was giving me this feeling of unease and unhappiness, and it came out that what I was missing in my current role was CLARITY. I was actually doing what I wanted to do, but due to the lack of clear direction, clear goals, clear boundaries and clear responsibilities, I was unable to feel like I was at my best, doing what I really love and fulfills me.
So that entailed, that I had to “come clean” with my boss and tell him openly how I was feeling and why. Don’t get me wrong: I didn’t complain or blame anyone or any situation…I just clearly stated how I was feeling and why and than giving him a solution on how I think we can make this better for the sake of all of us: me, him and the business. He was totally on board and agreeing to it.
I wasn’t scared to open up completely to him, because my character and my personality allows me to be very straightforward and transparent all the time without being scared. But I do appreciate that some others might find this idea terrifying. My suggestion to you, in the words of Pamela Slim from “Escape from cubicle nation” is: WHAT’S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN ? This small phrase puts everything in perspective. Go in the meeting prepared, make a list if need be, ensure that you say everything that you need to say. Avoid complaining, bosses want solutions and trust me, they do appreciate someone who is able to talk to them straight to the face with complete clarity. Being scared or submissive never helped anyone in any type of business. Be yourself and don’t be shy of your emotions: they will prove that you care about what you do, and they will appreciate it.
The mistake we often do, is listen to those who say that business should never be about emotions and feelings. I can agree to it until a certain point, but this statement can only be 100% valid if you are working with a computer and a robot with zero human interaction. Otherwise, EVERYTHING will always be about emotions and feelings, because everything we say and do, either to ourselves or to others, affects us and everyone around us.
I feel already better now and I feel I am getting closer to “going to work with a full sense of life”.
Monday is my next meeting, and will write the next update right after. In the meantime, I hope the above was helpful for anyone going through a similar situation. Speak soon!